Sorry your new iPhone is more flexible than your wireless plan.
I can tell by your laugh we won’t get along.
What if the ice bucket challenge was created by companies that sell bagged ice?
Happy weekend everyone! #sunset #tilghmanisland #chesapeakebay #maryland @ Tilghman Island, Maryland instagram.com/p/vrYxdMGTmz/
Yesterday at 10:06 pm
When I say “have a nice day,” remember that the “fucker” is silent.
Thanks for having me before the Internet could ruin my childhood.
My favorite Disney princess is Maleficent.
Mother’s Day is a sobering reminder that I have children.
I’m “Conjunction Junction” years old.
You’re giving me the douchebumps.
Go fuck your selfie.
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