May you live long enough that you become an emotional and financial burden to your whole family.
There may be two sides to every story, but you’re still a douche in both of them.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
If twirling a baton to "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" in a polka dotted tutu while wearing a tiara in… instagram.com/p/lOD5xumToo/
Yesterday at 11:32 pm
Congratulations on moving into something other than a treatment facility.
Your pants say yoga, but your butt says McDonald’s.
There’s no age limit on a Happy Meal.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
This shit drives me up the fucking wall.
Let’s watch the Black Friday death toll on the news while we shop online.
I’m grateful Thanksgiving is almost over.
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