Jesus regrets dying for you.
I’m starting a drunken brawl today with the first person who stereotypes the Irish.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
You Can’t Read Mommy’s Book (It’s only embarrassing if it doesn’t sell.) ow.ly/LQt2O
April 20, 2015 12:58 pm
Believing in Santa isn’t always easy.
May your medications trick you into believing you’re actually having a Merry Christmas.
May none of your real feelings slip out at Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanks for having me before the Internet could ruin my childhood.
Not that I need a special day of the year to be a narcissistic, self-promoting fame whore.
Mother’s Day is a sobering reminder that I have children.
Time to discover which elf was up to no good while the others were making snowmen out of marshmallows.
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