Jesus regrets dying for you.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
Time to discover which elf was up to no good while the others were making snowmen out of marshmallows.
My 8 year old: "I'm just going to Google it." Me: "What?" Him: "Whether or not the Easter Bunny is real." #wellshit
About 13 hours ago
Remain unresolved and lower your chances for self-hatred.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
Thank you, Santa and Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Like any good Catholic girl writer named Mary Theresa, I probably write too much about Christmas.
“Just be naughty and save me the trip.” -Santa
Come and bring this ho ho ho/Brand new shiny faucets bought at Home Depot…
If he weren’t already Santa, this asshole would get coal in his stocking for sure.
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