May none of your real feelings slip out at Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanks for having me before the Internet could ruin my childhood.
Not that I need a special day of the year to be a narcissistic, self-promoting fame whore.
"May none of your real feelings slip out over Thanksgiving dinner" and all the 22 Funniest #Thanksgiving E-cards: ow.ly/EZ2jh
About 7 hours ago
Mother’s Day is a sobering reminder that I have children.
Jesus regrets dying for you.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
Time to discover which elf was up to no good while the others were making snowmen out of marshmallows.
Remain unresolved and lower your chances for self-hatred.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
Thank you, Santa and Happy Birthday, Jesus!
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