Jesus regrets dying for you.
I’m starting a drunken brawl today with the first person who stereotypes the Irish.
As long as you keep loving me I can keep hiding my crazy.
Donald Trump's presidential campaign is like a continuing series of SNL skits. Is The Lonely Island behind it? Very entertaining <pops corn>
July 30, 2015 5:39 pm
Believing in Santa isn’t always easy.
May your medications trick you into believing you’re actually having a Merry Christmas.
May none of your real feelings slip out at Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanks for having me before the Internet could ruin my childhood.
Not that I need a special day of the year to be a narcissistic, self-promoting fame whore.
Mother’s Day is a sobering reminder that I have children.
Time to discover which elf was up to no good while the others were making snowmen out of marshmallows.