Top stories this week from the Splice Today reading list.
When I say “have a nice day,” remember that the “fucker” is silent.
Thanks for having me before the Internet could ruin my childhood.
Family at #Orioles game to celebrate our Bobby's 9th birthday! #Birdland @ Oriole Park at Camden Yards instagram.com/p/sXv1_oGTkw/
Yesterday at 5:28 pm
Don’t be a bunch of egomaniacal dipshits.
My favorite Disney princess is Maleficent.
The pole fairy godmother’s magic shoes gave me confidence.
Mother’s Day is a sobering reminder that I have children.
I’m “Conjunction Junction” years old.
Jesus regrets dying for you.
Go fuck your selfie.
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