“Your hair is gayer than Elton John blowing Barney at a figure skating competition on John Travolta’s private plane.”
Lesson learned: you don’t have to hit people over the head with pussy.
Poetry in lyrics= “Open like the 7-Eleven.”
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My hoo-ha is raging.
I hate it when I can’t think of clever penis cake pan ideas.
Need something slutty for Valentine’s Day bribery in exchange for an overpriced dinner, flowers, and overpriced chocolates?
Start by being mistaken for a lesbian lover.
I can tell you my book is called “The Scarlet Letter Society” and that it is quite sexy.
Female citizens of the universe: do not EVER skip reading package instructions of a hair removal product prior to applying it to your vaginal region.
Included is a new piece called “Everything I Needed to Know About Vibrator Orgasms I Learned From My Mid-Life Crisis.”
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