Sunday Summary: My Latest Articles

Categories: Entertainment, Humor, Opinion, Parenting, Random, Sex, Social Media, Travel, Writing/Blogging | Tags: ,
Published on 14 Sep, 2014
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This is the weekly(ish) wrap-up of my articles around the Internet, primarily pieces for Splice Today. 

Check here for news and reviews of my novel The Scarlet Letter Society.

As always thanks for reading!

The Shame of Losing a House

I’m Sick of Mermaids

Pick Me Out a Winner, Bobby

Sports Parent Failure

The Circle Is Real

Yes Feminism Is Sexy

Back to School Tears of Joy

Chill Out, Ice People

The Zen of Sea Glass  (for Salt and Water magazine)

My Cryaking Journey

Parents Are Mortal

The Internet Is Ruining My Hobby

Breaking Up With Family Members

Island Problems

GM Should Recall My Car

Who Are You Online (for Center for Digital Ethics)

The Chesapeake Bay is Doomed

Vacation is Overrated

Emoji Problems

The Scarlet Letter Society Chapter One

Beards and Wind Chimes Need to Go

A Writer Goes Under the Covers  (for Barnes & Noble)

Why You Shouldn’t Have Sex With a Jacuzzi

No Joy in Mudville

I’m Voting for This Guy

I Dream of Tiny Houses

Lady of the Flies

Vive Candy

8 Notes on Maleficent

Dear Class of 2014

Is There Anything Wrong With Parental Bribery?

My Very Short Time as a Stripper

Breaking Up With My Horoscope

In Defense of Thundercunt

No, Bitch, I’m Not Pregnant

Is There Such a Thing as Objectifying Men?

Saint Michaels Craft Distillery Bottles Whiskey and Rum

Just Let Me Turn 50

Fuck Jeans

11 Fictional Characters I Wanted to Be in the 70s-80s

20th Anniversary of Motherhood

Article for Chesapeake Family on my daughter’s World Series of Birding team.

BlogHer featured an article I originally wrote for Splice. Check it out: “11 Ways To Be a Better Blogger

I wrote a piece for the Center for Digital Ethics and Policy called “Effects of Graphic Photo Use in Social Media”

Dealing With Writer’s Terror

Microbeads Are Freaking Me Out

Letting Go of “Let It Go”

If You’ve Ever Been a Waitress

The Douchebag Coach Vs. the Douchebag Parent

A Lethal Scandal Drinking Game

Friendship Default

10 Things You Can Learn From 24 Hours in New York

Nightmare Onstage

The Death of the Greasy Spoon

Losing Faith

Obama and Comedy Between Two Ferns

Not Jaded By the Homeless

OMG A Totes Nightmare

11 Ways to Be a Better Blogger

Town Mouse to Country Mouse

Selling My First Novel

Jumping the Fence

Trusting the Spanx Pee Hole

Psycho Minus the Violins

The Latest Reason To Hate Facebook

When a Dog Attacks Your Kid

Be Your Own Valentine

Longform vs. Listicle

Scared of Fat Shaming

The Real Crazy Cat Lady

Tom Hanks Got Robbed

Escaping a Haunted House

Dear Asshole Neighbor

From High School Musical to Keeping Her Baby

Not Keeping Score in Kids’ Sports

Ativan is Not a Pizza Topping

Terrell Suggs Better Extend His Baltimore Ravens Contract

You, Sir, Are No Writer

Breaking Up With a Dream House

Robot Handjobs Are a Thing

The Art of Facebook Blocking

The Jennifer Lawrence Burden

The Parenting Tunnel

Big Daddy

A Review of Amy Adams’ Tits

5 Reasons Not to Make New Year’s Resolutions

The Innocence of the Rainbow Loom

The Last Christmas Pageant

Don’t Let Your Daughters Grow Up To Be Fox News Anchors

Judging Splice Today’s Writing Contest

Dear Santa, Baby

Which Christmas Misfit Are You?

Girl, 12

Yes, Goddammit, There Is a Santa Claus

The Boat People

Is Cursive Handwriting Dead?

Funny Blogs, Funny Books

Black Friday Blackens My Mood

A Moment In Time

How to Survive a Dysfunctional Family Thanksgiving

I Could Take You to Jail, Ma’am

The Chocolate Covered Cherry Club

15 Seconds to Decide If Your Life is Worthwhile

You Might Be a 90s Mom

My Stint as a Sex Toy Reviewer

My Short Time as a Fast Food Grunt

The Biggest Character on Tilghman Island

What Kind of Crazy Are You?

Hiring Veterans Just Makes Sense

Endangered Maryland

Birding is Not a Whimsical Hobby

A Single Meal (book review: Herman Koch’s The Dinner)

Born Without a Filter

Down With Halloween Helicopter Parents 

Monsters in the News

Trick or Treating Etiquette Tips

Castles in the Sand

No, I Wouldn’t Kill to Have Her Body

Conspiracy Theories About Fainting Pregnant Women

Funniest Tweets About Facebook Shutdown

The Endangered Watermen

Talking to Your Teen About Sex

Meet My Ghost

Five News Stories That Will Make You Believe in Zombies

Every Single Episode of Wife Swap

Maids of Dishonor

Just Ask Him About the Music

Kids Are Dying From Cyberbullying

Baltimore Museums Aren’t Boring

Beachcombing: A Sense of Community

I Hate My Breast Tumor

The Humor in a Government Shutdown

Sangria Conversations: What’s a Gunt?

It’s Time To Blame the NRA

The Worst Breakfast I’ve Ever Loved

What Kayaking Will Teach You

12 Ridiculous BuzzFeed Headlines

Top 8 Things Wacky Conservative Blogs Have in Common

God, Please Tell Me the Pope is Gay

Why Generation X is Missing

We All Hate Our Boobs

Don’t Mess With the Pumpkin Latte, Starbucks

Fox News Must Fire Todd Starnes

Thank a Teacher

The Politics of Hip-Hop Cardio

The 10 Sleaziest Tweets So Far This Month from The Fake McCain

Lessons in Motherhood From a Spider

You Fail at Twitter

Here’s What Self-Involved Feminists Should Worry About

The Instaporn Overshare

Why Are You Calling Out Fat Lesbians?

Mean Girls Suck

Let the Boys Wear Pink

Mommyjuana

Perusing StumbleUpon Categories

If You Linkbait Troll, You Are a Bad Person

The Advantages of Being Poor

Back to School Blahs

Sea Glass Hunting for Dummies

The Frightened Entertainer 

Are You a Good Feminist or a Bad Feminist?

My Job Would Be Perfect If I Hated My Boss

Dentist Offices: The Great Unifier

I Hate Dogs

5 Reasons Office Space is a Cult Classic

Teaching is All About the Glasses

Bruce Willis is Smoking Hot in The Fifth Element

Welcome to Tilghman Island

Breaking Up With Toxic People

Texas is an Embarrassment

The Story of the Red Plate

8 Ways to Avoid Screwing Up Instagram

Erotica Review: Sex Worm Apocalypse

Dear Cranky Commenter Troll

My Love-Hate Relationship With Diet Coke

Nice Beaver

Camp “Read a Book”

My Interview With a Hipster

I Want to Kill a Placenta Tree

Candy Crush Cheats Equal Having No Life

You Can Probably See Me Naked

Are You Standing Up When You Pee?

7 Reasons The Breakfast Club is the Best Movie of the 1980s

How to Get High Speed Internet in 2013

Memoirs of a Girl Scout Leader

It’s My Birthday, and Who Gives a Fuck?

Sometimes You Embarrass Your Kid Just By Existing

The Girl With No Fingerprints

The Spirits of Ireland

10 Ways to Fail at Traveling In Ireland

Luck o’ The Irish? Or Just Jameson?

Keeping Score in Little League Baseball

Messing Up a Girl’s Lady Parts Isn’t Cool

The Passing of Orlando Ridout V is Maryland’s Loss

The Flopping Penis

10 Things I Hate About Facebook

Failure to Unplug

The Curmudgeonly Judge

Deleted: Pussy

The Victimless Hit and Run

I’m A Dry Drunk

The Not-So-Wonderful Wizard of Oz

The Tooth Fairy is a Fraud

I Learned About Sex From Salt-n-Pepa

Top Ten Reasons I Hate Mommybloggers

My Vagina Hates Spin Class

Playing With Guns

Gone Girl: A Chilling Roller Coaster Read

The Accidental Racist

My Virtual Valentines

I May Be a Little Bit Black

Accidental Sea Glass Suicide

The Terrifying Nature of Hope

Fuck This Cold Weather

How to Fail at Being Sexy

In Defense of Air Supply

My First Paid Writing Gig

On Notre Dame Fandom

The Titanic Exhibit Experience

Granny Panties

Just Go See Les Miserables

What’s Your Favorite Christmas Song?

On Trespassing, Sea Glass, and Madness

Gifts That Will Never Be Opened

Meeting Steinbeck

The Unintentional Martha Stewart Christmas

I Hope My Son is Gay

My Brief Career In Shoplifting

A Hometown Holiday Visit

10 Ways to Embrace Your Inner Grinch

Ding Dong, Is Lori Really Dead?

Housekeeping Zen

The Bay: A Toxic Mix of Frankenfish and Government

What Kind of Mom Are You?

Hurricane Preparedness: Why I Suck

Politricks as Usual

The Liberation of the F Bomb

Lessons From Gal Sprout Camp

Frankenweenie is Delicious

There’s An Addictive App for That

Twitter Unfollow Etiquette

10 Things I Learned From the Current Issue of Cosmo

Here’s to You, Mr. Overly Enthusiastic Dick Pic Sender

Maryland: Eastern Shore vs. Western Shore

How to Lose 50 Pounds By Eating Bacon

Calls From the Ghetto

Hope Springs is a So-So Girlfriend Movie

The Maryland Renaissance Festival is Actually Fun

5 Reasons I Suck at Writing a Novel

Finding the Lump in My Breast

My Life as a Mascot

I Am Waterwoman, Hear Me Roar

Five Kids’ Movies That Don’t Suck

We’re All Going to Die

Judge Not, Bitches

The Best Campaign of This Election Year

Keynote Smackdown: Martha Stewart vs. Katie Couric

How to Raise an Agnostic

Life is a Big Gay Cabaret

Long Live Stephen the King

Top of the Lungs Music Therapy

Maryland is for Steamed Crabs

Topper Moms Are Bottom Feeders

Driven Crazy at the MVA

Magic Mike Movie Review By My Vagina

Nora Ephron’s Writing Inspiration for Women

The Glass Ceiling Myth

Rock of Ages is All About Moist Panties

10 Reasons I’m Too Old for Camping

No Slim Jims at The Gym

Unnecessary Graduations

Progress is the Enemy of Masculinity

11 Things About 50 Shades

Saint Sarah Palin

Bring It, Mexico

Jesus Christ: The Cartoon

Edit My Profile: I’m DEAD

Wonder Womanatrix

Happy Birthday, Birth Control

Textually Inconsistent

The Other Punch to the Gut

No Google for Cougars

Collapsitarianism

What’s the Problem With Whoring?

Don’t Call Me Shirley

Bite Me

Sizing Yourself Up

Wipes? My Ass

Carnivwhore

A Very Vine Mess

Queue This


 
 
 
 
 
 

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