Fuck You, Elf on a Shelf

Categories: Holidays, Random | Tags: Elf on a Shelf
Published on 13 Dec, 2012

Have you grown to hate Elf on a Shelf as I have? Secretly have visions of “hiding” that creepy ass Elf on a Shelf in the woodstove and laughing maniacally when your kids find his glittery ashes?

Check out this piece I wrote called “Fuck You, Elf on a Shelf.”

Also? If you comment over there? You are entered to win an unbelievable Elf Pack of free shit. Check this out:

Hallmark Keepsake 2012 Snowflake Ornament
$25 Macy’s Gift Card
Arthur Christmas on DVD
$100 Mpix Gift Certificate
iHome Portable Rechargeable Mini Speakers (If you’re extra nice, you will receive Glow Tunes LED Color-Changing speakers!)
Godiva Chocolatier Ultimate Dessert Truffles (including Chocolate Lava Cake, Chocolate Éclair, Strawberry Crème Tarte, Red Velvet Cake, Tiramisu, and Crème Brûlée)
$15 iTunes Gift Card
Yankee Candle Sparkling Snow 14.5 oz. (medium jar) Jar Candle

And if you comment you are also entered to win the Grand Prize (and then you have the option of giving it to me because it is FUCKING AMAZING!):

A Keurig Platinum Plus Series Brewer
64 K-Cups (incl 16 Cafe Escapes Hot Chocolate K-cups; 18 Coffee People Donut Shop K-cups; 18 Barista Prima House Blend K-Cups; and a variety pack of 12 K-Cups which includes one each of Nantucket Blend, Breakfast Blend, Gloria Jean’s Hazelnut, Timothy’s Decaf, Van Houtte French Vanilla, Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime, Tully’s French Roast, Donut Shop, Newman’s Own Organic Special Blend, Caribou Blend, Barista Prima Italian Roast, and Emeril’s Big Easy Bold)
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My K-Cup (for any type of ground coffee you’d like)

I hope my readers all go comment on my post so that I can feel like I have readers and so that if one of my readers wins, I can feel like I gave my readers really cool shit for Christmas.

Comment on all the Momma’s 12 Days of Christmas posts if you want, because you are allowed to enter up to 13 times!

Go! Comment!

(Thanks to mommabethyname.com for featuring my writing!)