Now that 9 out of 10 radio stations are playing Christmas songs 24/7, making non-Christians annoyed and actual Christians chug egg nog like it’s their job, let’s take a look at some of the most awkward, bizarre and amusing Christmas song lyrics. Next time you hear them, sing the line LOUDLY- oh, and everyone does a shot of their favorite holiday libation, too.
1.) “Oh, what a Christmas, to have the blues. My baby’s gone; I have no friends.” (Bells Will Be Ringing)
2.) “I want her to look beautiful, if Momma meets Jesus tonight.” (Christmas Shoes)
3.) “Only a hippopotamus will do. No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses. I only like hippopotamuses. And hippopotamuses like me too.” (I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas)
4.) “Late in time behold him come, offspring of a virgin’s womb.” (Hark the Herald Angels Sing)
5.) 12 Days of Christmas (entire song; dedicated to bizarre gifts including livestock)
6. “She’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog. And we’d begged her not to go. But she’d forgot her medication, and she staggered out the door into the snow.” (Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer)
7.) “All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names; they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.” (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
8.) “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn’t see me creep; Down the stairs to have a peep.” (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)
9.) “I don’t know just who to blame for this catastrophe! But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!” (All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth)
10.) “Don we now our gay apparel….” (Deck the Halls)
Merry Christmas, Pajamas and Coffee readers!! May all your Christmas wishes come true.
P.S. See also: