Don’t mind me, I’m just over here reviewing cock-shaped alien sex worm mind control erotica.
Fireworks look more amazing when you’re not constantly checking your iPhone.
“Hey, assholes, you’re not exactly chiseled out of granite. Fatties.”
An inappropriately hostile rant about people who leave anonymous douchebag Internet comments.
I hate myself for loving you, Diet Coke.
The agony of achieving buff in the muff.
Don’t you dare say you’re bored.
This candy ain’t gonna crush itself.
Where the hell does this stuff come from?
Cavill vs. Reeve: it’s on like Donkey Kong in a red cape.
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