Al Gore warned us about the Sharknado but you laughed at him.
Government needs to stay the hell out of my vagina.
I’m so old that I remember when vodka only came in vodka flavor.
On picking up the pieces, and putting them back together.
Still a better love story than Twilight.
Let’s not shit in the social media virgin forest.
Don’t mind me, I’m just over here reviewing cock-shaped alien sex worm mind control erotica.
Fireworks look more amazing when you’re not constantly checking your iPhone.
“Hey, assholes, you’re not exactly chiseled out of granite. Fatties.”
An inappropriately hostile rant about people who leave anonymous douchebag Internet comments.
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