“Hey! Look at me, everybody! I’m a big fat eight-year-old sexual predator…and I’m GAY!”
You might as well start burning libraries down, you High Fructose Corn Syrup Pimp! HOW ARE MY CHILDREN GOING TO LEARN TO READ!?!?!?!
“In motherhood, the days are long, but the years are short.”
what happens in real life, especially if it affects my family, has to be more important than what happens online.
Did you just fucking BLOW A PUBIC HAIR IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION??
If I throw Diet Coke on you, will you die?
I am giving a motherfucking rubber ducky a motherfucking blow job now.
The secret to parenting is simply to be the kind of parent you never want your kid to be someday.
Chances are I’m not reading your happy crappy Jesus-loving blog either, so we’re even.
Instead of visions of sugar plums dancing in my head that night, I had visions of kids screaming, camouflage, loud country music, empty beer cans and random cars parked everywhere.
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