“If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing, it’s the time that I spend alone.”
HOW could I manage to be such a bad mom that my son’s first portrait of me was an exercise in depression research, practically AN AD for Prozac?!
“Do you realize that you are walking around and you are a GROWN UP and you talk like an 80s teenager Valley Girl all the time?”
Dude, if you are fucking your coffee, you need to visit my little link over on the right there and get yourself hooked up. And not to a cappuccino machine, you freak!
“Hey! Look at me, everybody! I’m a big fat eight-year-old sexual predator…and I’m GAY!”
You might as well start burning libraries down, you High Fructose Corn Syrup Pimp! HOW ARE MY CHILDREN GOING TO LEARN TO READ!?!?!?!
“In motherhood, the days are long, but the years are short.”
what happens in real life, especially if it affects my family, has to be more important than what happens online.
Did you just fucking BLOW A PUBIC HAIR IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION??
If I throw Diet Coke on you, will you die?
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