“Isn’t tonight your “50 Shades of Grey Hair” book club meeting?” asked my 18 year old daughter, smirk planted firmly on face.
And we laughed, and then I told her I was totally stealing that shit for my blog post.
This past week I had the distinct honor of being invited to the Tilghman Island Book Club meeting where the book “50 Shades of Grey” was being discussed. The meeting was taking place at the property next to where I rent my cottage. Honestly, as a “renter/non-island-native” type, I was thrilled and nervous. These real, non-transient island property owner women obviously had a pretty exclusive, long term club, and I was a little terrified that they would be able to see past my “charming for like ten minutes” exterior and directly into the soul of my “completely socially illiterate anxiety” interior.
I was instructed to wear something gray, and that the dinner food would be done (snicker) “in the theme of the book.” (When I mentioned this on Facebook, an editor friend of mine responded “How do you design a menu around bad writing?” which was pretty hysterical.)
Having been informed that the women “spend more time drinking wine than discussing the book,” I selected, purchased and chilled a bottle of “Ménage a Trois” and a bottle of “Entwine” to bring the hostess. Let’s call her Joan. Joan had asked what type of wine I drink, and I’d told her I don’t drink wine (unless it’s organic) because it triggers migraines for me. I told her I’d love to just walk over with a martini. She said she’d have a chilled martini glass ready for me. Nice. I brought a Tilghman Island Country store conveniently-sized bottle of Grey Goose that looked about 2 martinis’ worth, and a jar of blue cheese stuffed olives to add juice and complete my preferred Dirty Martini.
I got to the party (gray blouse, black skirt), she handed me the martini glass and right after I poured my drink, Joan asked me to lead the book discussion. I looked around nervously at the 12 women I’d never met before. I noted with appreciation the “Submissive Sausages” vs. “Dominant Dogs” before me.