So this weird thing happened.
It all started when Facebook started confusing us by telling us “Groups” were going to go away and everything had to be a “Page” now. I was annoyed, because I had a lot of people in my Pajamas and Coffee Group, but I was like, ok, whatevvvverrrr Facebook, and I made a Marymac/Pajamas and Coffee Page.
I announced on the “group” page that there was now a “page” page (ugh) and that I didn’t want to double post my stuff to both places. I already feel guilty about annoying people on Facebook by posting links to my writing stuff. But Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook are the three places I get most of my web traffic. I mean, why write it if no one knows to read it?
So the other day on Facebook, I noticed that the group never really went away back in January. Nothing had been posted on it, but it was still there with its “This is a dead group” message. The group had like 1850 members. The Facebook page has like 515. But I hate Facebook groups. I mean, like when someone adds me to like the “MOMS WHO ARE TOTALLY LOLZZ AND MARTINIS ROCKKK” group, I immediately “Leave Group” because the notifications drive me insane.
So I went into the group admin thing and set the group to ‘secret.’ I do not know why I did this. I thought it was funny. I thought maybe it would make the already dead group disappear. I definitely did not know it would send out a notification to all the members of the group. And something funny happened. Group members all started liking and chatting and it was kind of fun. It was nice. I was like awww, people really read Pajamas and Coffee? And it made me happy. And let’s just say I’ve had kind of a weird year and I have been kind of a wreck in my personal life, and it came at a good time to discover that someone actually reads my blog.
I have never been a number obsessor of a blogger. When I started this blog in 2008, I had like 4 readers. I know the numbers have gone up a bit over the four years, but I do not watch them very often. I always thought it was stressful to watch your numbers- like if they fluctuated, you’d get all bummed and stuff. I always see it this way: I ‘m really only writing for one reader: you. And I always, always have been very thankful for you taking time out of your day to read something here.
Also, I am heinously antisocial. Seriously, I have like massive panic/anxiety/social situation clusterfuck disorder. (Yes, that is what it’s actually called. I should get a fucking handicapped tag at Target. Seriously). One of the reasons I am not a “huge blogger” like some of the bloggers who started blogging around the same time I did is that I am horrible at “community.” When we go to blogging conferences, we are told that we are supposed to “build community.” I suck at that. I don’t even really know what the fuck that means even when I see bloggers doing it. To me, our relationship is that I write stuff, and you read it, and I love you for reading it. But even though I am not good at Twitter chatting and Google hangouts and socialesque things like that does not mean I don’t like connecting with my readers.
Back when people commented on blogs, I used to love reading comments and responding. Now, commenting is like not as big a thing anymore. People are more likely to ‘like’ something (totally fine!) on Facebook. I know there are people who read this blog who never, ever comment and I appreciate you just as much. I’m not totally Google Analytically challenged- once a month or so I take a peek to be sure someone is reading so I know to keep writing. And you are. So thank you.
Wow, I am soooo fuckkingg rambling right now. Ok, I’m going to stop.
I guess I just wanted to say thank you to the people in the now Super Secret Pajamas and Coffee Facebook Page- for being there. Of course tons of people hit the “leave group” button when notifications started back up, and I don’t blame them. In fact, if I went from 1850 people in that group down to 100, I don’t think I would mind, because I’d know that those 100 awesome people were like my core readers- the readers who “get” me. And I am a super complex, bizarre, dysfunctional, oft flat out batshit crazy kind of girl, so I am not easy to “get” a lot of the time.
But I need you here. And if you are in my super secret Facebook group? I want to say thank you. I love you. And our secret handshake is super cool. I am working on the decoder rings.