I can’t believe it, really. And I’m not even sure I would’ve remembered that today is the 5th anniversary of the first post on this blog, but I got the email blast from IJW (In Jayne’s World) mentioning it was her blogoversary (congrats, Jayne; it’s not our fault this word exists…;) and I was like- oh yeah, Pajamas and Coffee started in August, too, and I looked up the date, and here we are. Five years.
In that five years, there have been over 785 posts, not including a few I deleted and many that have been taken down because they were too ragey/immature, outdated, generally sucked, etc. When I update to a new WordPress, I put a lot of posts into drafts. RIght now there around 400 active posts in the 15 categories, which have also changed over the years.
Mainly what I feel today is guilt. I never really made much money on this blog, though I made a little, mainly on some paid posts and literally like a few hundred dollars (IN FIVE YEARS) in the ads you see. But you don’t blog for money. You blog for love.
Let me rephrase that. You don’t blog for money, unless you’re someone who did a way better job of figuring out how to blog for money than I did. Tons of mommyblogs make tons of money, either because they don’t cuss and talk about sex and therefore they have more advertising, or because they repackaged blog posts into bestselling books (I’m not bitter*). I just have been pretty random. (And I never wanted to be called a mommyblogger anyway). I will say the blog has given me opportunities I would not have had if I did not have this blog.
Also, during the five years, I’ve worked at like real jobs, so for a while I was writing at a few different places. Today, most of the posts here at Pajamas and Coffee are links to the (over 130 so far) paid pieces I do for my job as an Editor at Splice Today. I feel bad annoying people by just doing posts here that simply link to another place, but I know a lot of you, my amazing and awesome readers, come here first, which I of course appreciate, so I do the link posts just to let you know about the new post in another place. I just feel guilty for not having been able to put more time and effort into making Pajamas and Coffee better. But what can I say, my kids like sugary motherfucking cereal and it’s expensive. Gotta write where I get paid.
Just to update you if you’re a regular reader: my novel is still in the book publishing process (which I find painstakingly slow, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I’m just lucky to be IN the process, so I shouldn’t complain). A few weeks ago my literary agent sent the completed manuscript and an amazingly well written (by her) pitch letter to 12 publishing houses, a number of whom she’d already met with and who showed interest in bidding on the book. Is there a bidding war going on right now in New York City over my book? That would be an overstatement, though I would obviously be thrilled if it was true. I really would be lucky just to have one or two publishers bid on it so that it can be sold and I can deliver good news to you about when it’s going to finally be in all of our hot little hands. I know it will be in 2014; not sure spring or fall list. Obviously I will shout from the rooftops (and then get my house out of foreclosure; such a charming, J.K.-Rowling-like tale…) when I hear some much-needed good news.
Ok, I’m rambling. Sorry.
It could be asked why I still blog here when I don’t make any money. I mean, Jesus, 800 posts? The answer is really that you’re here. When I first started blogging and two people were reading, I was like oh, I have to write something for those two people. And now that the numbers might reach 100-200,000 readers in a month, I still write for the same reason. Because you are reading. Also because I can’t not write (ironic double negative). It’s just what I do. I feel truly blessed to have people come and read my work. I am humbled by it. When someone comes up to me in real life and tells me they read my work, I always almost apologize to them: I feel bad they took time out of their day, I worry about whether it was worth it, I think about how there are so many better writers they could be reading.
Thank you for a great five years. I’ll still write if you’ll still read.
*totally fucking bitter